Oh Jesus how I need your grace and mercy. I am in a desert. That is how I feel right now. Yet I wonder how fruitful this time has been for me. What is this desert I speak of? The past 9 months have been a desert experience for me. For in my meditations this Holy Week, I am seeing some beautiful and thought provoking metaphors between Jesus' time in the desert and my time in Manhattan.
Although Jesus never fell into the temptations of Satan, I must confess though that I have fallen. I have been tripped up by Satan's scheming as well as my lack of trust and faith in Jesus or the prideful ways I keep trying to contend with Satan through only my own power. I need you Jesus.
I feel alone, tired, apathetic, lazy and hungry. Definitely not hungry for food, hungry for a more fulfilling way of life; life lived in the spirit of God, life impassioned with the sacraments, life absorbed with His divine power and strength.
Be perfect as God your Father is perfect. I can only do or attempt such a command if I am united ever so constantly to our Lord in prayer and thought. May this Holy Week be a chance to unite ourselves ever more closely to our Savior.
Did I mention that the chapel here at the student center has a line of students waiting for confession - a line that loops all the way around the back of the chapel and out into the lobby - Awesome? Yes, definitely!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
So I feel inspired to write tonight. It's been a long time as one of you had mentioned. Today has been chaos. So it was over a year ago that my coworker at the time and I decided that energy drinks and I aren't always a good mix. I love how active and super productive I am on such days when artificial energy is rushing through my veins. You should see how jerky my fingers are as I type tonight. Nevertheless, this morning I decided to enjoy a cappuccino and powerbar as I was driving on the open road back to my desert. More on my desert in my next posting ...
But I didn't just stop with that delicious breakfast. Instead as I arrived at work, I pounded back a large can of Monster Khaos. And then well, I methodically attacked my to do list. I'm really good at procrastinating and well I'm leading a mission trip next week to Denver for 15 college students, so what I'm saying is that I already have a lot of nervous energy and excitement anyway as well a decent amount of things to accomplish within these next two days.
But as I've been rushing here and there I'm noticing a characteristic of chaos within my rushing about today. But I also find it interesting that I've been enjoying myself today. I've been somewhat disappointed in my lack of personal organization and productivity these past couple months. Wow my brain is scattered - hmm, I wonder why.
So what am I saying? I haven't felt a sense of urgency in my life lately. I've been set on cruise control and haven't been challenged, personally or professionally. I've realized that I don't like living on my own. I love the dynamic of how living with a great roommate both challenges you to grow in virtue and share in good familial camaraderie.
So if you are experiencing some chaos right now I pray you are either enjoying the rush of life around you or that you step back for a moment to see the beauty of the many moments that are occurring around you.